The Invisible Child In All Of Us: How Confidence Begins

The child who sits quietly and hopes not to be noticed is often the child who needs the most care. I’m joined by educator and author Bridget Kengler, who spent her early school years feeling invisible, then walked into her own classroom and made a deliberate promise: no child in her care should feel unseen again. 

We talk about what low confidence can look like in real life: fear of being called on, perfectionism, and the loneliness of blending into the background. Bridget shares the surprisingly small moments that changed everything for her, including a teacher who listened, remembered what mattered to her and publicly recognised her effort even when she “failed”. That kind of encouragement is not sentimental, it is practical. It plants a seed that can become an internal voice over time. 

From there we get concrete. Bridget explains how she builds connection and trust with every child, why she never forces participation, and how morning meetings create a safe routine for student voice. We also dig into partnering with parents, including a simple question that helped one of her son’s teachers connect with him for the first time. And we widen the lens to adults: how confidence grows through hard things, why stepping into the uncomfortable matters, and how taking the first small step can change the shape of your story. 

If you care about child confidence, classroom culture, encouragement, resilience and finding your voice, you’ll take away ideas you can use straight away. Subscribe, share this with a teacher or parent who needs it, and leave us a review. What’s one moment of encouragement you still remember?

Let’s Talk About Confidence is an educational podcast exploring confidence, behaviour, leadership, communication, and personal performance. The views shared are intended for general information and development purposes only and should not be considered medical, psychological, legal, or financial advice.

While practical tools and techniques are discussed, listeners are encouraged to seek appropriately qualified professional support where needed.

Opinions expressed by guests are their own. All content © Breakthrough Change Management Ltd.

Transcript

The Invisible Child Becomes The Teacher

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Think about the child in the classroom who no one quite noticed. Not the disruptive one. Not the one with her hand up. The one who sat quietly hoping not to be called on. Hoping to get through the day without being seen. Now imagine that child grows up, walks into a classroom of her own and makes a decision that no child in our care will ever feel what she felt. That's thirty years of teaching, that's two books, that's a third on the way. And that's today's conversation.

Confidence As Learnable Behaviour

SPEAKER_01 0:45

Welcome to Let's Talk About Confidence. I'm John M. Walsh. This podcast exists because confidence is the one capability that determines whether you'll attempt what matters most and whether you'll persist when it gets hard. It's not a personality trait, it's not positive thinking. It's a learnable behaviour built through repetition, pressure, and real-world consequence. Today's guest has spent thirty years watching that behaviour developing children, classrooms, and in herself through hard things, uh uh through starting over, uh uh uh through deciding again and again uh uh uh that the story isn't finished.

unknown 1:21

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

My guest today is Bridget Kengler. Bridget's an educator and author based in California with over thirty years in the classroom. You've written two children's books, uh uh uh hold your head up and walk with grace, uh uh uh uh and you have a story to tell. And the third book You can do anything is set to launch this summer. Her work is built on the belief that it's both simple and profound. When children feel seen, when they're heard, when their uniqueness is honored, when someone takes their story seriously, something shifts. Trust is built, and from that trust, confidence grows. What makes Bridget's story particularly powerful is where it starts. Not from a place of natural confidence or easy authority, but from a child who's shy, who often felt invisible, who moved through classrooms feeling like she didn't quite belong. She knows exactly what it feels like to be unseen. And she decided to spend her career making sure no one else in our care ever felt the same way. Bridget, welcome to Let's Talk About Confidence.

Growing Up Shy And Perfection-Driven

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Thank you so much, John. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_01 2:36

You wrote something in your notes that really stuck with me. It was this part where you said, as a child, I was shy and often felt invisible. Can you take me back there? What was that like feeling invisible?

SPEAKER_00 2:50

You know, I still try to figure out, to be honest with you, where it all came from. Because I grew up in a loving, loving family, wonderful parents. There were eight children in my family. I mean, we're just very strong, close-knit family. But when I walked into classrooms when I went to school, I just always just felt invisible, not felt, not felt seen, heard. I know I was very shy. So I know that probably played a part in it. But I just remember sitting in the classrooms, you know, wanting, not wanting to be that child that raised their hand, not wanting to be the child that stood out. That was really scary for me. And there was a lot of fear that I had as a child growing up because of that. And because of that, the confidence was low. And I also felt like I had to be perfect.

unknown 3:58

Right.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

And whatever, for whatever reason, I don't really, I'm still, you know, as an adult now, you know, 40 something years later, I'm still trying to figure out well, where did that come from? But there was always that sense that I needed to be perfect. And because I didn't feel that, yeah, I felt invisible, I didn't feel seen. And it was just in some ways a lonely road as a child, yeah, especially in those situations. You know, being at home was different, but being in a situation with other kids and in the classroom, there was a lot of sense of just feeling invisible. And I think there were maybe, I could maybe say two to three teachers throughout my whole career as a student who actually made me feel seen.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 4:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

What is it they've done differently? Can you remember what they've done?

A Teacher Who Made Her Seen

SPEAKER_00 4:56

What made them make me feel seen?

SPEAKER_01 4:58

Did you feel seen by the I think it was just situations?

SPEAKER_00 5:02

Like, for example, I had it was sixth grade. I had a sixth grade teacher when I was 12 who we shared the love of reading. So it was an enjoyment to be able to go into his class. Like after lunchtime, we he would just for 30 minutes we could sit and read wherever we wanted. I was able to have conversations with him about what I read. And he listened. There was a time when I tried out for the cheer team, and all of my friends tried out with me. And I was the only one who didn't make it to the next level of tryouts. And the next day it was announced on the intercom, all you know, congratulating all the girls that made the cheer team, that made it to the next level. And of course, I wasn't one of them. But he's after that announcement, he stopped and he said, and we want to, we want to congratulate Bridget for trying and for, you know, doing her best to try out for the team. And it was like I felt so seen at that moment. And I still, you know, to that, to this day, I carry that with me.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

And I I found him about, I don't know, seven years ago. I searched for him online so that I could write him a letter to thank him.

SPEAKER_02 6:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

To just thank him for that, because that moment was such a big pivotal moment in my life. I he saw me, which created that encouragement. Yeah. Which I think encouragement plays such a huge part in building confidence in someone.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah. That's amazing. What a great story. And the fact that you remember it so vividly from a while back is is amazing.

The Pivot Into Teaching On Purpose

SPEAKER_01 6:46

The the bit that then interested me was how do you go from that kind of experience of classroom not being particularly positive to becoming a teacher? What can you remember what the drive was for that?

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Well, to be honest, um, when I went into college, I did not want to become a teacher. That was not in my plans. I had studied abroad when I was in high school. I started to love languages. I was taking, you know, I was I was a Spanish major. I wanted to travel the world. That was my goal. But then my last year in college, I started working with children. It was part of my independent study. I had a class where we did an independent study. The teacher wanted us to work with tutoring. So I started working with children and my whole path kind of shifted and changed. There was something about sitting with a child and working with them and seeing their confidence grow and seeing their abilities and their light turn on. Yeah, that really set a spark in me. And so it there was that pivot. And then it was, no, I think that my path, I think my calling is to be an educator. And that's kind of how it happened initially.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Fantastic. And it's like that insight you got from it is amazing. And then was this a conscious or an unconscious decision when you went right? So I'm going to make sure every every child is seen. Because that that seems to be one of your big things, you know.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Yes, it it was very intentional and very conscious. I mean, I just I knew how I grew up as a child and in the classroom. And I wanted to be that teacher that would be the one that would help those kids that felt unseen and felt and were quiet and shy. So I would always try to make sure I knew from day one which kids, which were those children, which were the ones that that just, you know, would kind of, you know, sit in the back and just not want to participate, not want to say anything. And I would figure out ways to draw them in and figure out ways to help them build that confidence to want to speak up and want to share and want to tell their story and be seen. So that's really uh yeah, it was very intentional. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

And it sounds like it was quite quite quickly that you came to that. It wasn't, you know, it didn't seem to be after five years of teaching, it seemed to be from the beginning. From the beginning, yes. The I mean, you've been an educator for for over 30 years, and the big thing I'm after is what would you learn about confidence in children that perhaps you didn't know at the beginning?

SPEAKER_00 9:49

I think that I think again, as I said before, encouragement. Encouragement really to me is like the seed. It plants the seed. And I think when children see that you believe in them and that you are trying to create that connection with them, yeah, that it plants that seed in them, that then helps them to be a little bit more courageous, to not be as fearful, especially those kids that are quieter and shyer. And it helps them to take risks that maybe before they wouldn't because they didn't have somebody who they felt believed in them and their capabilities.

SPEAKER_01 10:41

Yeah. Yeah. We we talk about this this same idea on the on the podcast about being able to take small steps. So to some folks it'll be a risk, but it'll be a small step on the journey to a larger thing. Say they want to learn to I don't know, play the guitar. The first step is perhaps finding out what needs to happen to learn the guitar. You know, not not committing, there's not like a I I don't know, you've probably seen this in other children where I want to learn the guitar and three seconds later they bought a guitar, they bought a thing, then they give it up six weeks later, whatever. But it's that just taking the first step, which I I I really like. But how do you how do you or how did did you practically make that happen in the classroom where you you start to get people to feel they've been

Practical Ways To Build Trust

SPEAKER_01 11:32

seen? What is it you do to to to make that happen? If you don't mind sharing that, it could that be your secret sauce, you know?

SPEAKER_00 11:40

I I really work hard on trying to build connections and relationships with kids. So I find, I try to be intentional and find ways to connect, whether that's you know, listening to what they tell me and then building upon that. So if that child shares with me, you know, yesterday I went and I went to soccer practice or I went and you know, played or went to dance class, yeah, then I try to build on that experience. So the next time I talk to them, I might ask them a little bit more about that. Or if they tell me, oh, this weekend I'm going to to my cousin's house. Yeah, you know, there's they have a birthday party. Then on Monday, I try to be intentional with, well, how was it? How was the party?

unknown 12:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

So building those connections, because I believe building the relationship more of the connection builds that trust. Yeah. And when you build that trust with them, then they're more open to want to share within the class.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:49

Another thing I do is I never force them to share.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:54

So it's you, you can share, you can pass. If you know, if we're sharing, if we're doing, because I do what's called morning meetings. So we get together in the morning and we all sit together and we talk about different different things. It could be courage or gratitude or different topics throughout the week. And I ask them to share, but I always tell them, if you don't want to share, you can pass. So I allow them that opportunity, which when I allow them that opportunity, and then then we I'm in the same time making those connections with them. Yeah, later on, you see them, those those particular kids want to start to share because they feel comfortable and they feel like it's okay to take the risk. Like this is a comfortable, safe environment for me. So I really try to build that comfortable and safe environment so that they feel comfortable enough to take those risks.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Yeah. I love it. It's so so simple what you said. It's part of me, you know, you think like how do you make that happen? Like it's magic. But what you do is you're, I guess you are applying, if I'm honest, it does it as you're applying the practical magic every day by looking at them, listening to them, finding out what's important to them, and asking them about it. That that is is so simple yet. I guess a lot of people don't do it, do they?

SPEAKER_00 14:15

Yeah, I think that, you know, I mean, I think sometimes teaching is such a demanding job. And there's so many things that we are expected to do. And of course, we need to move, you know, we need to move kids through curriculum and growth and progress that sometimes we feel that the demand of that, that sometimes it's hard to take the time to what to make the connections because there's so many other things we need to do.

SPEAKER_01 14:52

That really puts it in perspective, Brangett. That's a great way of explaining because you yeah. Because the way you explained it earlier, it sounds like so simple that everybody should be doing it. But now you've explained that you that there's other pressures on people, and we won't always get the chance to do it. Right. Did you find that it was did was it just the children that you felt that needed to be seen more, or was it across the classroom?

SPEAKER_00 15:16

You know, how did you I think it's yes, I think it's all children. I mean, even I will I've always been intentional for those children because I was not child.

SPEAKER_02 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

But definitely the children that obviously participate more, they still need those connections, they still need those relationships. The children that tend to be more challenging also, we need to build those relationships. And I think that even for the kids that are more challenging, sometimes that's even a harder challenge for me as an educator, but it's something I have to do. And those really, sometimes those children end up to be the ones that I that really make the biggest impact on me.

unknown 16:01

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:01

The ones that are the most challenging because you're able to, if you make those connections and you're intentional with it, you build those relationships and you see a change.

unknown 16:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

And that's what's wonderful. You see the change in the children. Because there's always some reason why that behavior or that challenge is happening. And sometimes you need to figure out what that is.

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Is that where because I was fascinated by the you'd put this belief that children when they share their stories, that trust is built, confidence grows. Is that part of you know that when when we talk about the the stories, is it the thing linked they were at the soccer practice or the birthday party? Is it that kind of thing, or is it deeper than that? Or what is this, what what would you see as a typical children sharing the story with you?

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Yes, I mean, I think it's it's their everyday life. You know, I mean, kids want to be heard. And sometimes I feel like we don't take the time to just listen to what they have to say. Because again, there's so many demands and so many things we have to do that we don't stop to just let them be heard.

unknown 17:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:15

And I, you know, it's everyday life. It it and it could go deeper than that. It really just depends on the child and it depends on the relationship that you have and also with the parents.

SPEAKER_02 17:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

You know, building those relationships with parents as well.

unknown 17:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:29

And, you know, something I also try to do is I ask the parents at the beginning of the year, what is a way that I can connect with your child?

SPEAKER_02 17:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:39

Tell me some things about your child that I don't know that will help me make those connections.

Parents As Partners In Connection

SPEAKER_00 17:47

And I think that stems from my son, who's now almost 22. He was like me. He grew, he was very, very shy. And he it's he struggled sometimes in class to to be able to, I think, have the ability to be seen. Sometimes he didn't feel that. And it wasn't until he was in high school in ninth grade, his English teacher. I went to back to school night, and the English teacher had a form for us to fill out, and she said, tell me about your child. Tell me some things I don't know so that I can connect with them. So I said, Well, he loves baseball. He's a and he's a huge sports fan. And if you ask him any questions about sports, you will connect with him. And she took that and she did it because he would come home and he would say, Mom, my English teacher is my favorite teacher. Today we talked about this and we talked about that. And it was for the first time he felt so seen.

unknown 19:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

And I thought it made me feel sad because it took that many years for my child to feel seen by somebody.

SPEAKER_02 19:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

And so even though that was halfway through my career, and I had already made, I had already, you know, done a lot of work to be intentional and build relationships, that kind of shifted for me as well. And it made me look at it different. And I even shared that with the staff at my school because I had created a survey and I had asked, you know, for parents asking them about things about their children. And my principal had asked me to share it with the staff. And I shared it and I shared that story with them. And they all that it shifted for them as well. We're like, wow.

SPEAKER_02 19:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:51

You know, it took that long for a child to be seen. And, you know, we don't want that. We want them to be able to be seen, you know, from day one in the classroom. Yeah. So I think that that just from a personal experience and from my own son and as a parent, you know, you want the best for your children and you want them to be able to go to school and feel safe and feel seen. Yeah. And for it to have taken that long, it just changed me as an educator as well. And even, like I said, even though I've I've been doing it, it it changed the way that I started to do that as well and be even more intentional.

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Super powerful. That the story about your son as well just kind of brings it home to that personal level. It's fantastic.

Books, Grief And A Promise Kept

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Now, your book is called You Have a Story to Tell. And I I kind of I'm getting the the reason behind it. I thought, you know, instead of being called I have something to say or I have a talent or whatever, it's it's you have a story to tell. What was the thinking behind the book?

SPEAKER_00 20:58

Um, yes, so let me just uh show you the book. Oh because the illustrate, I just have to show it first night. Illustrator Zoe Ranuchi, fabulous, wonderful illustrator.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Um the book Is this one in July? No, this one is out now so we can get this down. At the end, I'll make sure that we put the links into the description so folks can find you.

SPEAKER_00 21:27

Yes, definitely. Um it is, you know, it was something I wrote years ago. Years ago. It's really it's a po it's it's a poem, but it's a love letter to all the students I've ever taught, as well as to anybody who reads the book. And it's just to let them know that they are important, that they matter, that their stories matter, and that we need to hear them. Yeah, that we need to be able to. Experience who they are. And it's meant to encourage them to share who they are and their uniqueness, that we're all different, we're all unique, and we all have something special and valuable within ourselves that we need to share with the world.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:19

And that's really the idea behind behind it. I really, when I wrote it, I didn't think it was going to go anywhere other than in my Google Drive and stay there forever, to be honest with you. I, you know, when I was a child, I dreamt about being an author, about writing. And I always would just kind of put it to the wayside. You know, that's not going to happen. That will never happen. My dad was a writer. He was a poet. But he he had tons of manuscripts that never got picked up. And we shared that love. We shared the love of reading and writing. And we would sit together and read together. And, you know, he was my big storyteller and he would read to me and we would write together and talk about it. And he passed away in 2021. And I promised him when thankfully my whole family were able to come together on his last days. And when I sat with him, I promised him that I would write a book and I would publish it for us. And so I wrote my first book, which was Hold Your Head Up and Walk with Grace.

SPEAKER_02 23:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:44

And it's it's about a little girl, Ellie and her dad.

unknown 23:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:47

And it's a book about encouragement. Ellie's dad encourages her. Ellie's scared. She's scared to go to school. And her dad kind of encourages her with the words, hold your head up high and walk with grace. And that was something my dad would tell me. And for example, I went through a divorce over 20 years ago, and my dad walked alongside me throughout that whole process. And when he and I left the courtroom when the divorce was finalized, he grabbed hold of my arm and he whispered in my ear, You have nothing to be ashamed about. Hold your head up high and walk with grace. And so I remember back my experiences as a kid and how scary it was and how scary it was initially to go to school. And I kind of put those words in my dad's encouragement. And that's how that book came to life.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Beautiful, beautiful sentiment and great memories as well. But wow.

SPEAKER_00 24:49

Yeah. So I, you know, I published that. Yeah. And I thought, okay, I I made my promise to my dad. I did it. You know, I didn't think any further than that. And then people started asking me, well, when's the next one? When's the next one? And I was like, I I don't know. I didn't think about a next one. I just, you know, this was my dad's promise to my dad. Just I did it. And then I kind of opened up, you have a story to tell again. You know, I went back in there and I started looking at it. And I thought, you know what? I feel like this message needs to get out. Yeah. Needs to get out into the world. And then that's how all of that came to be with you have a story to tell. And then my book that's coming out this summer, You Can Do Anything, is with Ellie and her dad again. And it's something my dad used to tell us children, you can do anything you put your mind to.

unknown 25:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

So I kind of took those words of encouragement and created a story about that. So that's kind of how though those books, and it all goes back to encouragement. And I believe again, how encouragement really plants that seed, which then through your perseverance and personal experiences where is where the roots grow for that confidence.

unknown 26:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:15

And that encouragement, I get I guess is trying me. I ask you then, because I was thinking to myself, is it about making sure the encouragement is grounded in truth as well? It's not not sort of false encouragement, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Yeah, I mean, I think encouragement really grows. I think, you know, you're you're when you have that encouragement, when when you're encouraging to someone else, when someone is encouraging to you, it kind of builds that in that that external voice of you can do it. You, I believe in you, your voice matters, then kind of becomes that internal voice with inside yourself.

SPEAKER_02 27:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

You know, and that encouragement becomes that that mirror that can help us recognize our beliefs and our capabilities.

unknown 27:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Do you think for I mean I love the fact that you you're doing it through your stories, through your educate education? You're helping young kids to find that early. What about adults that maybe had that sort of confidence knocked out of them a bit?

Adult Confidence Through Hard Things

SPEAKER_01 27:32

Is it too late for them to find the story?

SPEAKER_00 27:36

No, I don't, I don't think, you know, I mean, I think our stories evolve through our lives and our experiences shape us. Because I would, you know, it took me a long time to get to where I am and to have this confidence that I have now.

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

It, you know, 20 years ago I didn't have that.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

Obviously, 40, 50 years ago, I didn't have it, you know, when I was a child. I think that the more you experience things and the more you face challenges and failures and successes, it builds, it helps to build that confidence.

SPEAKER_02 28:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

And I think having people around you who also are there to encourage you to let you know that they believe in you also plays a part. But I think we're always we're always evolving. Our stories are always changing. We're always shaping it, you know, it's always shaping us. I mean, I even today, I, you know, I'm going, I've got some challenging things I'm facing in my life right now that I know is shaping me. And next year, I'm gonna, it's gonna, it's gonna be even different.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:55

You know, I just you're constantly changing. And I think it you it it never stops. And I think that it can always continue, and the confidence always will can always build no matter what age you are.

unknown 29:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

We absolutely agree. It's the the tenant of the let's talk about confidence, the whole reason for the podcast is that no matter where we are in life, is as long as we can take that first small step towards it. And I think what you've added to it beautifully here, Bridget, is having a bit of encouragement somewhere. Sometimes we might have to encourage ourselves, but if we've got people around us, it's funny, one of the recent episodes is about when we sometimes outgrow people. When we start to develop our confidence, people see it as a threat. And so how to deal with that. So I must say I I love it. It's that idea of the more encouragement we can get, and and the way you've described it is the seeds, which I think is beautiful. Really, really well done. I mean, you mentioned a wee bit there, we we're always going through things, and it was this, you know, you've mentioned there have been several challenging moments you've had throughout your life, uh but they've helped to build your confidence and it's some you know, it's personal ones, business ones, etc. And I I guess the question I was wanting to ask is what uh what does it do to your confidence? How how do you recover from it when it it maybe knocks your confidence? But what do you do to maintain that growth and confidence?

SPEAKER_00 30:27

I do think that the more challenges and failures that I have had in my life, yeah, has I realized that the fear that I had facing the challenge and then overcoming it through the courage and trying to get over that has helped me develop that confidence. And I think that the more you fail and the more that you face challenges and you have to really be courageous and brave, the more the confidence builds. And then when you face a new challenge, it doesn't seem as hard as it was originally. And you know, that's a lesson that took me a really long time to learn.

unknown 31:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

A really long time. I mean, in my 20s, I was still, you know, dealing with trying to overcome fears. And I would, there were things that I would not do because I was so fearful. And I think about how much I've grown through all of my experiences in my life that's gotten me to this point that the more you have those experiences, the more that you gain the confidence to then face the next challenge that you might have in your life.

SPEAKER_01 31:56

Yeah. And I think it's the bit you've put beautifully there is that you have got to have those experiences, you've got to have those challenges. We've got to. I think often I've I've seen in a lot of the people I've worked with in the business context has been they they they get afraid to take that challenge, so they can comfortably avoid it because they're doing okay over there. And it's the what I I love in what you just said that you've it's the challenges that make us confident. Yes, it's very it's almost upsetting down that she's like, Well, I'm not confident, I don't want to take on the challenge, yet it's the very act of taking on the challenge that makes you confident.

SPEAKER_00 32:36

Right. Yeah, yeah, and it's stepping into the uncomfortable, yeah, right? Because you got to step into the uncomfortable to get to the other side. And you know, I wish that that had been something that I had known years ago, even as a child. And that's something I try to teach my students. Yeah, that yes, this is scary, but in order to get to the other side and have that big smile at the end, like I did it, you've got to be brave to do it. Yeah, you know, and and that took years for me to understand and to really grasp onto to want to, you know, get to this point in my life.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

Yeah. I link that. That and as a recognition, and and I feel the same way, it's taken me years to get to the level of confidence I've got. And it's still, you know, it's still areas that you've got to grow it and things like that. But uh part of the message we're trying to help people with is that you take the small step, you take the next small step, etc. etc. And before you know it, you have got the big smile because you've done it. But it it takes time, and often we want things instantly, I want to be confident tomorrow. And I remember some of the episodes I've been talking about, you know, that might take 18 months to get to that. And as I'm saying it, I'm thinking, My gosh, some of the listeners won't want to hear that it's going to take 18 months. In some cases, what you just said is great, because you said it took me 20 years to get there. I know we want it instantly. But I guess the message for this is that the sooner we take the first step in that direction of the sooner we'll be there. It's fab fabulous, it really is.

Advice For Shy Kids And Closing

SPEAKER_01 34:17

The new book coming out. So the the new book coming out in the summer, you can do anything. There's a great description of the way you you you spoke of it. I guess it's it's what what would be really useful for me is that what would you say to any shy child or even you know, someone who felt invisible, even if that was an adult. Is there one thing that you you would sort of say to them that could maybe help them?

SPEAKER_00 34:44

I think you know, everyone has a story, and every story matters that your challenges, failures, even successes shape who you are. And like you said, take that first step. Step into the uncomfortable.

unknown 35:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:01

It's not as scary as it seems once you walk through it, and once you just give yourself that ability to have the courage to do it. Because when you walk through it and you come out on the other side, you'll be amazed at where you're at and so proud of yourself for accomplishing that.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Yeah, that's so true. That's brilliant. What do you what would you hope that people would carry away from our conversation? We've had a great chat and it's covered so many different areas, but what would you hope they take away from it, Bridget? What would be the one thing you want them to take?

SPEAKER_00 35:43

We think that our stories are always evolving, that we're always changing, that it's always shaping us, that it's never too late, that it's never too late for things to happen in your life.

SPEAKER_02 35:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:58

Take that first step and keep going. And and the idea of encouragement, I really truly believe. I mean, if you've got people in your life that are walking alongside you, that are there, that are your constant, that are just kind of pushing you, take that in.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

Because I really truly believe that once you take that in, it becomes part of you.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:23

And it becomes that internal voice inside of you.

SPEAKER_02 36:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:27

And it really does help to plant that seed that then helps you maybe face that uncomfortable that you're too scared to face.

SPEAKER_01 36:37

Yeah. It's really good. Bridget, thank you so much for spending time with me today and sharing your views. If you don't mind, share the links with me. I'd like to put them in the podcast description so folks can find your books and hopefully use them with your kids, etc. But some fantastic advice you've given us there that I hope folks will find as useful as I have. And it's been an absolute pleasure, and thank you for taking the time.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

Thank you for having me. It's been a pleasure. I enjoyed our conversation.

SPEAKER_01 37:09

Perfect.